Urgh.

So, I think I'm just about fed up of both my father, and the internet.

He keeps bitching about all the Christmas gifts he got, or narrating what he is doing. It gets old. Fast. And the worst of this is that if I tell him that it is annoying, or that I find it annoying, he'll flip a shit and be like, "Well I bring in the money, so shut up." Or he'll play on how he's paying for my college and won't let me go if I "bitch" at him. In the end, I guess what I'm saying is, I have to suck up the fact that my dad annoys the hell out of me, and pretend to be adult about the situation. Even though on the inside there is a five year old little girl with her arms crossed stomping her feet on the ground screaming to shut the fuck up.

Also. Onto the computer problems. My laptop was having "Proxy Error"s. For about two days, before I borrowed my sisters laptop and googled a solution. And now it refuses to connect to the internet for more than a few moments. Even my iPod is being finicky. I'm just hoping that it has to do with cloud coverage, and not an actual problem with my laptop. If it was a problem with Teddy, I might cry. A lot. Imagine Alice in Wonderland (Disney Classic) tears. Times three.

Done

I'll admit. This is a rant blog post.

I am entirely sick of being... well I think I'm just sick of being here. Everyday my dad comes home and says, "Did you clean? This house looks like a mess!" Everyday, I do small things. I do a few loads of laundry. I vaccum. I sweep and mop. I get wood so he can have his nightly fires. I go to the store and get Jak food so he can keep on living. I make sure they have tea. I clean things up from the floor. Make sure Jak is taken care of. Make sure Mom doesn't feel homicidal. Make sure John is still alive, even when no one knows he is in his room playing Call of Duty.

Everyday I get belittled. And I am sick of it. And for some damn reason, Merlin knows why, I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about any of this. I feel like a servant in this house. Sure, I don't have a job. Sure, I'm not in college yet. Sure, I don't have my own fucking car. Sure, I can do this stuff. But I am sick of being treated like all I am is a fucking servant (and the fact that I even added the 'g' in fucking tells you how serious I am).

I feel like the only way I can even be a little appreciated is if I'm not here. If I am gone. I don't even think it matters where I go. Just that I'm not at home. When I'm home, I feel like shit. I feel belittled, under appreciated, and to be honest, at times I feel unloved.

Pretty much the only reason I actually do stuff around this damn "house," is because I think that if I do, I'll get a simple "Thank you." I don't think people realize just how much words mean to people. And it kills me that everyday, I feel like I need to read a book, or a fanfiction, or watch so many tv shows, just so that I can escape from this.. Whatever the hell I end up calling it. Because it certainly isn't home.

Recipes

These are a few recipes that my family has been known to make.


BAKED PINEAPPLE


2 Eggs
1 can crushed Pineapple (20 oz.)
2 tbsp. flour
1/2 cup sugar
Bread (enough to cover, which is about 3 pieces
butter (as desired on top)
Baking dish (my family normally uses an 8.8.2.5 inch dish)

Beat eggs and add in sugar, flour, then the crushed pineapple (juice as well). Our into a greased baking dish. Cover with broken pieces of bread(I recommend pieces no larger than 1x1 inch). Make sure there are no gaps between bread. Add however much butter you wish on top (it makes it slightly soft after baking). Bake at 350 degrees Farenheit until light brown, or about 45 minutes. (If you bake it at a higher temperature check it around 20 minutes)


ORIGINAL NILLA® BANANA PUDDING

PREP: 30 minutes
BAKE: 20 minutes

3/4 cups sugar, divided
1/3 cup flour
3 eggs, separated
2 cups milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
45 NILLA Wafers, divided (Approx.)
5 ripe bananas, sliced (about 3-1/2 cups), divided
Dash salt

MIX: 1/2 cup sugar, flour, and salt in top of double boiler. Blend in 3 egg yolks and milk. Cook, uncovered, over boiling water, stirring constantly for 10 to 12 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla. (makes a custard type thing)

RESERVE: 10 wafers for garnish. Spread small amount of custard on bottom of 1-1/2-quart casserole; cover layer of wafers and layer of sliced bananas. Pour about 1/3 of custard over bananas. Continue to layer wafers, bananas and custard to make a total of 3 layers of each, ending with custard.

BEAT: egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually add in remaining 1/4 cup sugar, beating until stuff but not dry. Spoon on top of custard, spreading to cover entire surface and sealing well to edges. (To make it a bit decorate, use small circles to spread, and pull up quickly to make small peaks.)

Bake: at 350 degrees Farenheit for 15 to 20 minutes or until browned. Cool slightly or refrigerate several hours until chilled. Top with reserved wafers. Makes 8 servings.


PUPPY CHOW


1 cups Chocolate Chips
1/2 cups margarine or butter
1/2 cups peanut butter
8 cups Rice Chex®
2 cups confectioners sugar

Melt in a large pan the Chocolate, butter, and peanut butter. In a large bowl (all about large things here apparently), mix rice chex with the melted mix until well coated. Place the 2 cups sugar in a large, clean brown bag and shake in rice chex until well coated. Cool for half an hour, and serve.